“How Grandmaster Helped me to find my way back to my Father”

Testimonial By a Humbled Student

wallpaper-father-and-son-at-beach

I already knew that mentoring with Kuk Sa Nim would have been a deep experience, but the ability of the Grandmaster to know where to focus his attention and transmit his words really surprised me.

The knowledge, the depth, the experience of this man are prodigious. The many subjects we encountered in our conversation went from quantum physics to philosophy, with absolute simplicity. I only had to bring out the reason of my interior resentment, that is the absence of a relationship with my father, whom was never a father, to obtain from him a detailed analysis and the direction to overtake rage and fears, and to free myself from my own conditioning.

I only had to bring out the reason of my interior resentment, that is the absence of a relationship with my father, whom was never a father, to obtain from him a detailed analysis and the direction to overtake rage and fears, and to free myself from my own conditioning.

I felt necessary to let the GrandMaster know of the burden I had been carrying for many years. A real setback in my life: the total lack of any relationship with my father. That was a decision I had to make fifteen years earlier, after having realized throughout the previous years that he did not care about me at all. He did not want any fruitful communication with me; there had never been any exchange of love or transmission of life experience or know-how in the manner of a father-to-son relationship. I had tried many times to speak to him and draw his attention on me, but was never successful. I had also tried to write him a letter, the most important letter of my life, in which I made a point about us, explaining his typical behaviors and again tried to tell him of his faults. When he received the letter, he just sent it back with the postman…

I was left with no choice but to quit on my father, in order to protect me and leave him to the life he wanted, without me.

The Grandmaster came directly to the point, his words cutting on my conscience like a sharp sword: I had to forgive my father; go to him and tell him I loved him. I also had to do it quickly, being my father 76 years old: in case of any troubles with his health, shouldn’t I succeed in letting him know in due time, a permanent shadow on my soul would have crippled me for the rest of my life.

I tried to explain how hard that task was after so many years, but I didn’t need to: He knew it already. He said that a warrior must always be ready to take on heavy duties without never stepping backwards. He ordered me to do it, so that I should have done it even if I hadn’t agreed. He said that I had to do it not because my father deserved it, but because I deserved to be set free from my burden, from my self-imposed anguish.

At the end of our time together, I was definitely much shaken by His words and on the verge of crying. He came and gave me a warm hug and in that very moment I somehow felt his strength passing on to me. I knew He was right!

At the end of our time together, I was definitely much shaken by His words and on the verge of crying. He came and gave me a warm hug and in that very moment I somehow felt his strength passing on to me. I knew He was right!

We have to realize the huge privilege of being a part of the Hwa Rang Do Family: the Grand Master, such as all of the instructors, are following our growth personally, and they are interested in making sure that each one of us express the best that we can be and become a better man, a better warrior. “Empowering the world, one person at a time!”

Grandmaster Taejoon Lee gave me the hardest assignment of my life. He wants me to do it quickly, and then he wants to be informed of the developments. No chatters, no excuses, no blame, I just have to get busy and act. I’m not saying that I’ll be able to do it tomorrow, but I need to let Grandmaster Lee’s words and reflections change me from the inside and break down the thick walls that I felt I was forced to build in these many years. However, I’m sure of one thing: I know I’ll do it, I must.

He’s right: nothing in the world is more powerful than “Love”, and if we have even one single hope in one billion to make someone think and maybe change, we can only do it relying on that “Love” that we all have within us. All we need is the strength to express it.

He’s right: nothing in the world is more powerful than “Love”, and if we have even one single hope in one billion to make someone think and maybe change, we can only do it relying on that “Love” that we all have within us. All we need is the strength to express it.

“In almost fifty years I learnt more than four thousands way to hurt someone, but true greatness is in not using them and believing in Love”. I have no other words, but immense admiration and deep gratitude, to define our Grandmaster. I’ll try to be worthy of his teachings and to transform the great inspiration I received from him into reality.

Thank you and Hwarang forever!

My update:

It took me a few days to think over Grandmaster’s words and I was ready to accomplish my task, the hardest ever in my life, but still the most necessary.

I waited for the right time in which I could find my father at home, and I advised the Grandmaster that the following Sunday I would go and meet him. Kuk Sa Nim told me to go there and speak freely with no expectations whatsoever, in order not to be let down in case of possible negative reactions. He told me to let my words come right from my heart.

I felt very confident because of this wonderful direct communication with my Grandmaster and all the strength he was able to pass on to me!

The day came and I went to meet my father. He appeared to be in full possession of his intellectual capabilities but did not recognize me for at least half a minute.. for sure, by showing up before him I had put him way outside his comfort zone..!

I greeted him and told him I was at the end of a path and I just wanted to let him know I loved him.

He replied he had been waiting for that all these many years..

A thought came across my mind, that he would have waited until death if I hadn’t decided to come over and meet him. As far as I could remember, he always preferred deciding not to decide… Then, I remembered Grandmaster’s words to love with no expectations and to stay in the positive. So, I quickly I let go of that negative thought and focused on dwelling in the positive.

We then spoke for about 10 minutes. He asked me of my work and I asked him of his retirement. We exchanged our cellphone numbers and everything let me think we would be in touch again soon.

I had succeeded in forgiving him and started a new chapter of a father & son relationship, which I have longed for all of my life. And, finally it’ll have a chance to be good since I promised myself that I won’t bring up anything of our past and his faults – never, ever again.

I had succeeded in forgiving him and started a new chapter of a father & son relationship, which I have longed for all of my life. And, finally it’ll have a chance to be good since I promised myself that I won’t bring up anything of our past and his faults – never, ever again.

All in all, that is the essence of forgiveness. You do not forget (you never could!), you just go through it and expand.

I left him with some time to fully understand the reasons of my visit and after one week my father called me on the phone to invite me for lunch at his place. He would introduce me to the woman he lives with and to her family.

We spoke for more than twenty minutes; he was friendly and I got along well. I can now say that all conditions for the beginning of a new and finally fruitful communication are set.

I entirely owe this victory to the words and wisdom of Grandmaster Taejoon Lee. He taught me that with the necessary humility and determination and most of all with a kind, compassionate heart every goal can be achieved. Never retreat!

Thank You, Sir.
Hwarang forever and everywhere!

Yours faithfully,

Seeking Truth

 

Seeking Truth

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“Keep the faith and be true to yourself,

never relying on others or chance to determine your life.

Choose and once you have decided, then stick to it to the end.

And, when you do – after you have ceased to exist, you will have created “Truth.””

As I was browsing through our Forum, “The Flowering Way,” I happened to come across some student quoting me.  So, I read through it again and it hit a nerve.  TRUTH, from the time we can speak we have always asked the question “Why?”  That is one question that you can ask and ask and ask and it can never be satisfied.  Don’t you remember your three or four year old asking you, why is the sky blue?

Because God made it that way?

Why?

Because he likes blue?

Why? Because, OK to tell you the truth, it is the combination of gaseous material which diffracts light into particular frequencies of electromagnetic radiation that is perceived by our retinas as the color blue?

Why? And on, and on, again.

This is what drives most parents crazy.  But let us think for a moment.  Isn’t that the fundamental question that we need to ask in order to find the truth?  Why do our retinas perceive it to be blue?  Why couldn’t it be something else?  And do all creatures see it as the blue we see or even other people and if they do not, then blue as we know it could not be the Truth.  And if that is so, then how can anything we perceive be the Truth.  Further, what is ‘blue’ anyways?  It is our truth as human beings or truth as it remains convenient, but not the ‘Truth.’

We can continue this epistemological debate and go even further into the philosophy of language and as in Physics, the deeper we go, more the questions we’ll find.  So, after couple of decades of questioning everything, I have come to the point where I know I cannot answer all of them and that I will never know the “Truth,” but only functional truths.  And, I am at peace with that.

I think that this is the most important realization that one can come to and it is not giving up, it is not being pessimistic, it is not compliance, and it most certainly is not ignorance.  It is a realization, a self-actualized knowledge.  Truth as in life is in doing, in living, in seeking, it is in the journey.  Whether we find the Truth or not is not what is important, but that we seek it.  However, somewhere between why is the sky blue and does God exist, if there is a Santa grant me a bike and why has God forsaken me, thinking you are Superman and got to go to graduate school to get a raise, we have lost the sense of wonderment, the fuel which drives our truth-seeking engine, the stuff which makes dreams come true.  We lost the belief in the possibility that the impossible can happen and not only happen, but made to happen.  In my opinion, Truth is what we make of it.  If you say you cannot, then you cannot; if you say you don’t like, you don’t like; if you say you quit, then you quit; if you say I don’t love anymore, then you don’t love anymore; if you say you are done, then you are dead.  And what more truth is greater than knowing that if you live there is life and if you die then it is death.  I choose to live.

Don’t misunderstand me, you cannot get to this point until you journey.  One must be critical. Not just be critical of others and external things, but just as or more so be critical of the ‘self.’  The business of seeking truth is a lonely job, paved with disappoints, disillusionments, heartbreaks, sometimes abandonment (letting go then regretting it by blaming the offender), hopelessness, and many other not so pleasant emotions as one’s foundation starts to shake, crumble and rebuilt.  Yes, rebuilt, many times.  The question is will you rebuild or will you accept it as is?  To me this is a matter of life and death of the soul.  Once your whole world view and the truths that you’ve built your paper empire on falls apart, what will you do?  And, if your foundation, your core has not turned to ash, then it has not been tested, tried, and criticized.  The journey of Truth lies in the rebuilding and this takes all the courage in the world.  Who is better off, the bum who wanders for food and lives moment to moment or the person who goes to work everyday to pay their debts?  For me truth lies in purpose and purpose rises from the rebuilding of Truth.  Each time you rebuild, there will be certain things which will remain and that to me that is Truth and it is up to me to make sure it stays true.

A Hwarang is a truth seeker and a Truth keeper.  And, this means to be unafraid – unafraid of being wrong.

Hwarang Forever,

Grandmaster Taejoon Lee